I’m getting ready to attend Club Skirt’s Dinah Shore Weekend in Palm Springs, CA March 30- April 3. The lovely and clever Meg Ten Eyck, gave my girlfriend and I her VIP Press Passes and told us to record our weekend Real L Word style. No pressure.
While Dinah is ideal for singles, it doesn’t mean those who are coupled can’t join in the fun too.
As a couple, we’ve made it through many pride events smoothly because we follow a certain set of guidelines for mutual respect and love. We follow our guidelines in any context, but they come particularly in handy when we are out together at any queer event where there is a mix of alcohol, perceived anonymity, and hot queer bodies all over.
My perception of Dinah Shore is – a series of never ending, wild sweat drenched hot pool parties and glamorous late night events that feel less like real life and more like some lesbians’ fantasy world with whipped cream and a cherry on top.
Keep in mind, this year I’m a Dinah Virgin, so most of this is fantasy based on what I’ve seen in the media and heard from my friends’ experiences. In addition to the crazy crowd of beautiful people, there will be some of the hottest and most well-known queer icons of our time (from Lea Delaria of Orange is the New Black to Katherine Moennig of the L Word) in addition to an assemblage of insanely talented female (both lesbian identified and otherwise) musicians and DJs.
These are some of my personal tips and tricks that have saved my partner and I from resentment, jealousy, and other feelings that are sure ways to help your relationship slowly but surely go down the drain.
What happens at Dinah, DOES NOT stay at Dinah.
As mentioned, there can be a certain sense of anonymity in an event with hot women, loud music and ever- lasting alcoholic beverages named things like “Sex on the Beach.” You MUST know that is simply the devil tempting you with a lesbian mirage that will disappear as quickly as it appeared. Whatever you do at Dinah, both with your partner and otherwise, will follow you back home – whether it be five minutes or 500 miles away. Instead of allowing your wandering eye to get you into trouble, simply discuss who’s hot and who’s not with your partner, be honest about who stripped your clothes off with their eyes on the way to the bathroom and laugh about it, and turn your attention back toward the one you love. Include one another in conversations about the crowd and stay on the same page. The more connected you feel overall, the easier it will be when you are back home living your Uhauled-up day to day real lives.
To make it rain or to not make it rain, that is the question.
Contrary to what Jay-Z claims in his 1998 hit “Money Aint a Thing”, money is a thing…a big thing – a thing that can cause you and your partner to have a major blowout that can create a terrible and lasting effect on your experience of Dinah.
Without some simple prep, those dolla’ dolla’ bills might as well be the paper that sparks the fire that burns your relationship to the ground.
To avoid this, discuss who will pay for what before the events even begin. Whether you take turns with who pays for drinks and food at each event, or you combine your cash ahead of time to call it even, the simple conversation can save you a LOT of drama and resentment over feeling like your partner took advantage of your good nature.
Take a tip from Queen B – it takes 45 minutes to get all dressed up, sometimes you don’t even make it to the club.
And that’s perfectly ok. Be flexible and balanced with your time. Yes, of course attend as many of the magnificent events that Dinah has to offer, but remember what is most important at the end of the day. Your relationship – intimacy and communication is still the priority while at Dinah. If this means that you break your plans of sipping on drinks by the pool by 11am in order to have a last minute sexy time sesh with your boo because she looks so tempting in her bikini, then that’s what needs to happen. Trust me, a quickie will go a long way in keeping each other satisfied. Besides, in 100-degree weather, your ‘mascaras running’ and your ‘red lipstick smooshed’ anyway. No one will even notice your “just had sex look” once you get to the party. I mean, unless that’s the kind of thing you’re into – then do whatever floats your boat, even if it means going to the party and mutually deciding on a play partner for your late-night ménage a trois with your beautiful raison d’etre.
As Missy says, that’s how we do it where we from.
Don’t forget who you are and where you come from while immersed in this queer version of the Magical Kingdom. After all, your partner likes you for who you are BEFORE Dinah. If you feel the desire to mold yourself into the epitome of a Dinah Shore party goer and you begin altering your behavior and look too much, just don’t. Find a balance between not sticking out like a sore thumb and being your authentic self – that’s how you caught her attention to begin with and she’s the one you are with at Dinah for a reason, right?
Now that you’ve got these rules down, listen to a tip from Alessia Cara and let them find you Where the Wild Things Are.
Feel the music take you over, sip on that drink or five, and lose yourselves in this temporary dream world. Get your dance on and forget about the to-do lists and day jobs and enjoy every single second of star gazing, bumping uglies, and soaking in the rays and the saucy views with your boo thang and friends. If there is one thing I have read and heard a million times over, there is nothing like Dinah – and whether you attend every year, or this is your first and last, make It a truly unforgettable experience for the two of you that you can look back on fondly and favorably because you were able to enjoy the fruits of your labor together without any destructive or toxic blowouts.
I for one cannot wait to share this experience with my partner and I sign off on this guide with wishing you a safe, sexy, and less than sober time at the 2016 Dinah Shore! See you all there! Want to learn more about Dinah? Check out Meg’s archive of past Dinah articles, tips, and tricks.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This article is part of an ongoing series leading up to Dinah Shore. Stay tuned for more in this series for tips and tricks for planning your Dinah getaway.